Sowing the Seeds of Change
Dear All,
I share these words with you in love, in the hope that they may serve as a loving and gentle reminder to remember what is truly important in life, in your life.
Last year my dear wife Nina closed her restaurant, after five years of creating a beautiful place in Delft together with her mother, it was time for the next step in both her own life and the life we may share together. A month before the closing she told me of the end date. It was then that we found out that the last day her business was open coincided with a retreat where I would be working. I informed her almost immediately that I would not be able to be present on this rather special last day, as the retreat had already been planned. Nina, who expressed some disappointment, tried to understand this with her benevolent intentions and expressed that, although she felt sorry, she understood. Several weeks passed and the realisation of my rather selfish act arrived, in all honesty, far too late. A few days before the start of this day, I realised that this was not the most loving choice, as I had actually completely ignored how important this ending was for her. I had been thinking only of my own pleasures, and a feeling came over me in which I became aware of the selfish choice I had made.
Unfortunately, canceling the retreat was no longer an option, as the day was too short and I would have disadvantaged many other people and saddled them with a problem, causing my selfish choice to cause double damage. I went into the weekend with a lot of stomach ache and an enormous feeling of regret. A weekend in which I normally experience enormous joy and deep gratitude, was now overshadowed by my own negligent actions. When the weekend started I shared with the entire group what had happened and that my heart was in pain because of the realisation that I had completely ignored what my dear wife needed most, namely being able to 'support' her on this important day. Over the weekend a dear friend came to me and asked if I was being “too hard” on myself? Although I understand this sentiment, I didn't think I was being too hard on myself because I felt that in consciously dwelling on what had happened, with all the stomachache that entails, I more or less forced myself to think about my actions.
“I am the owner of my actions,
heir to my actions,
born of my actions,
related through my actions,
and have my actions as my arbitrator.
Whatever I do,
for good or for evil,
to that will I fall heir.”
— Buddha (Anguttara Nikaya)
It is my deep, deep heart's desire to live purely, to be pure in my words, deeds and all my other actions so that I can walk in life as lovingly as possible. When I catch myself that this is not the case, which, despite my good intentions, happens regularly, for example, because an underlying pattern prevails, then I wish to look at this and not run away from it. I wish to reflect on this and although it is often confrontational, painful or deeply uncomfortable, I do believe that it is these moments that ask us to grow. By encountering behaviour or actions that do not essentially serve us, such as unconscious or egoistic actions, we can ask ourselves how we can learn from this and ultimately grow from it. I believe that this is not only a privilege but also our obligation. We all have an individual responsibility to cultivate our inner values and develop mental well-being so that we can step out into the world in a careful and gentle way, bringing about the change we wish to see from within our own inner landscape.
When we look at the complexity of the (current) worldly problems, it can make us dizzy with a simple attempt to think about a solution. This dizzying feeling can leave us helpless, powerless in the face of an inability to do anything about it as an individual. However, this is not entirely the case, when we look at the complexity of problems, herein lies the gift for everyone to return to yourself and see what you can achieve in your own life, even if it is the smallest, minuscule to bring about a shift or change. Take war as an example, when we think of war the chance that a single individual - if that person is not in the world political sphere - can end the war is considerably small. But, what you can do is to think about the importance of non-violence in the face of so much violence. Perhaps you can make nonviolence an even more conscious practice in your daily life and thus inspire more people to eliminate all forms of violence in all areas of their lives. When we talk about the climate problem, you may be able to connect more strongly with nature or practice compassion towards all other life forms. Perhaps you can take people on walks in the woods or write in a loving tone about the beauty of all that lives and grows. When we talk about the economy, you can re-evaluate your own consumption behaviour and perhaps strive for more simplicity. Please know that it is often the absence of “simple” human values that underlies the origin of the greatest worldly problems. A problem is large and complex at a global level, but the root of that problem can often be traced back to the absence of a corresponding human value, which in turn can be traced back to the individual. By cultivating these kinds of values ourselves we will not be able to solve the problem immediately, but we can think about, practice and express what we consider absent from the larger problems we face on a global level. What I am trying to point out here is not an attempt to undermine or oversimplify the complexity of the world's affairs, I acknowledge that I am unable to fathom how these problems actually arose, but I am trying to describe the importance of what we can and should do ourselves. Precisely because these problems transcend the individual in the magnitude of the problem, it is important that we return to ourselves, to the timeless and human values that we can cultivate and propagate in our own lives and with which we can make a start to that better world we long for. It is as the Indian spiritual teacher Maharishi Mahesh Yogi says: “For a forest to be green, every tree must be green”. This speaks of the fact that the responsibility of humanity as a whole always begins with the individual, that change begins in our own inner landscape and from there it can develop on the great plains of the outward landscape. When we try to design our lives based on the desire to live purely and cultivate values that we find important then we by definition create a healthier and more loving world because we all focus on ethics from where we want to live.
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
If you are in a position where the main focus is not on simply surviving, you could conclude that you are enormously advantaged and blessed compared to a large part of the world's population for whom this same pleasure and basic right are unfortunately not granted. In this position, in having this advantage, there is also a responsibility to give back. Make sure you take responsibility for your own life by cultivating inner values and do what is in your power to help people, to be of service to people. This is one of the important aspects of development; Self-development is not limited to the 'self', but self-development is what the individual does from within himself with the view that it not only serves himself but that it can be of service to others in the world. From that idea, the development of the self becomes the development of humanity as a collective. By taking responsibility for developing ourselves, we become an instrument for change. Because if you can see the world through the eyes of compassion, from a contented heart, with hands of caring, then you cannot help but contribute to "the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible", as Charles Eisenstein so beautifully puts it.
Everything that wants to grow needs space, so within ourselves we must remove the weeds of the patterns that hinder our pure actions so that we can plant new seeds of change and nurture them with loving presence. When we sow seeds of virtue, of moral values, of thoughtfulness on our inner soil, it will always bear fruit in the garden of the world. Perhaps some will wither in the face of our burning desires or rigid patterns, but there will always be seeds that take root and grow into new perspectives and habits with which we can approach life. Sow these seeds, take good care of them and let them germinate in love so that you can spread the fruits of a new world.
Dear being, know that all my writing, all that I try to share with the world, always ultimately comes from my own practice and my own experiences in trying to learn what it means to be human. I do not want to pretend that I am exempt from the same invitations that I send out, as the introduction to this letter states, there are many examples in which I must honestly admit that I have absolutely fallen short, but the most important thing is how we deal with moments like that. Only falling can make us rise and sometimes we need the hand of our brothers and sisters to help us up because in the end we all walk together. Be gentle, honest and loving with yourself, that we may all sow the seeds of change.
In love and reverence, sven
