Can the selfless become present?
Dear All,
I share these words with you in love, in the hope that they may serve as a loving and gentle reminder to remember what is truly important in life, in your life.
A few years ago, when my life had changed from a busy life with many (commercial) artistic projects to a quiet and simpler life, I decided to do volunteer work. Since I had simplified life and needed less financial resources, it felt appropriate to also consciously give back to an initiative or project that I could connect with. There were several directions that appealed to me, working with refugees, working in a temple or monastery or in an animal shelter. But after reading Joan Halifax's book ‘The Last Words of Love’ about palliative care, I felt a strong calling to contact a hospice. I was already aware of the wonderful work of dying homes in my early life, as both my grandfather and my mother worked voluntarily in final care. In addition, I have always felt a strong attraction to the dying process, it is something that has never managed to scare me off and to me it has always felt like a beautiful (and of course necessary) final phase of the gift of life. For people who are not familiar with the concept of a hospice, a hospice is an institution with a pleasant homely atmosphere that specialises in terminal care. In the so-called 'house' we try to maintain (or obtain) the best possible quality of life in the last period of someone’s life.
After going through trial days and completing the course, I looked forward to being able to serve in this special place, on average once every few weeks I worked a part of the day in the hospice for the months that would follow. Through this voluntary work, I also wanted to challenge myself to do 'something' that I experienced as difficult, which in this case was mainly aimed at performing household tasks such as cleaning, preparing food and other necessary practical matters, something which doesn't come naturally to me. This felt like a much bigger challenge to me than the contact with the residents, but this challenge was a big and important part of my learning process.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in service of others.”
After more than half a year of voluntary work, in which I worked half a day on average once every few weeks, doubts started to make an entrance. The feeling began to haunt me that I experienced little "pleasure" in my work and this made me question whether I should continue my work, in short, the real challenge presented itself. Sometime last year, while we were traveling, I resolutely picked up the phone to raise this matter and announce my departure. At that moment, something in my presence called for me to sit down and let it sink in before I acted. I closed my eyes and let the meditation pass by again, in this tranquility I heard the following question: "Can the selfless become present?". This wonderful question put my desire for pleasure and satisfaction in a completely different perspective, where it was no longer about what 'I' liked, enjoyed or liked, but where 'I' was allowed to be a vehicle to serve something greater. In other words, to allow the 'selfless' to become present in the deeds and actions you perform. Can the selfless be present in preparing a meal for someone? In cleaning the 'house'? In offering a service? Can the selfless become present in one of the many facets needed? I think a lot of places, hospice being perhaps one of the clearest examples, truly require the selfless to be present. These kinds of places do not require the constant desires of the volunteers, but deeply the presence of people who want to serve the place and the people. This question put my position as a volunteer in a new light. Not to constantly question it from what 'I' want, but to invite myself to put it in the light of service, in which the selfless can stand above the self. In other words, to rise above the desires of the 'I'.
Then we come to the gift of service, everything in life is in service to life. A butterfly is not only subservient to itself but also subservient to the flower, a tree is not only subservient to itself but also to other trees with whom it exchanges nourishment. Everything in life has a way in which it not only serves itself but is also of service to all other life and in this we as humans can learn a great deal. We can be inspired by looking at life and realising that it should never be just about providing for our own needs, pleasures and desires, but that our lives always include the responsibility and obligation to be of service to life, to give something back. Service is therefore not about whether you like it, what you think of it at all, but it is about how you can offer yourself to be of service to the world. This may not be your most favourite activity or chosen hobby, but that's exactly the idea, that's not what it's about. It's about not only caring about your own individuality, but being able to be a light for the world. How can you arrange your life in such a way that it serves? How can you serve other people, other beings? It is so important not to always strive for desire and pleasure, but to also see what it does to you when you consciously undergo something that you experience difficulty in, knowing that you can be of service to others. By offering yourself unconditionally to the world, you will be rewarded by life in areas you may not have thought possible. Life rewards those who offer themselves to the world without expecting anything in return.
“See all work as spiritual exercise, as an offering. Then, work is transformed into worship.”
One of the bigger reasons why the state of the world is as we find it today is because we are so focused on our own lives, in which we behave as if the world revolves around ourselves as individuals and we often place the ‘I’ above all 'others'. When we come to see that the world does not revolve around us as individuals, but that we are just a beautiful part of an insanely grand mystery in which everything is connected, then we can also change our approach to life. An approach in which we are not only concerned with putting our own individual lives in order and desire that we may take everything we want, but that we make ourselves subservient to serve the greater whole. It is when we understand the importance of service and make it a practice that every deed, every action and every work is actually a way in which you can give, not take or receive, but give. Whatever you do in life, you are always offering something in the form of your being, your presence, your time, your actions, your words, you are always inevitably offering "something" to the world.
The question and therefore invitation is whether you can ensure that what you come to offer is in worship? Life gives us every day the opportunity to offer our gifts to the world. When we experience challenge or difficulty in a day or a moment, we don't have to ask ourselves how we can get through the day, how we can run as fast as possible to that 'one nice moment' or how we can 'take' something so that we can feel better, but at any moment can we become aware of the question “what do I have to give in this moment, this meeting or this hour of the day so that it can be of service?”. This is the spiritual practice, a real practice because there is a good chance that this will not work right away, but that's okay, that's why it's also a practice so that you can keep practicing it.
“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”
Dear person, thank you for reading. All my findings come from my own practice, so everything I write is essentially a letter to myself, but I feel absolutely honoured to be able to share it with you.
I would like to express a special thanks to Hospice de Waterlelie in Spijkenisse for their beautiful 'house', loving and warm approach and service to people. I am truly grateful to be able to (learn to) serve in a place like this.
In love and reverence, sven
