Ways of Seeing
Dear All,
I share these words with you in love, in the hope that they may serve as a loving and gentle reminder to remember what is truly important in life, in your life.
A few months ago I sent you a letter titled “Are we Surviving or Thriving?” the intention of this letter was to check with ourselves if we are leading a lifestyle where we feel we are thriving in rather than simply surviving. Ironically (yet miraculously) not even a day later after sending this letter, I was confronted with the same question myself as we (my wife and I) faced a huge financial setback that drained our little money, on which we usually live, except for tens of euros. Where we consciously lead a life of very little and also need very little money, a moment had arrived when we literally had almost no money left. So, shortly after I asked you the question, I was invited to answer this question myself. A wonderful and somewhat ironic turn of events.
But, what was deeply asked in this was not how to get money back as soon as possible or how to escape this situation, but was how to meet this situation? Could we take what presented itself to us for more than just our projected concerns? Could we maybe look at it differently so that it becomes a gift instead of a threat? Could we still feel beauty, gratitude and devotion in those moments? In the face of situations like this, how strong are we in our beliefs, our dreams and our commitment to living life and giving what we have to give, without ending up in fears and worries? It turned out to be a blessing in disguise, when we could look past the apparent fears we felt it was an invitation not to let our eyes be blinded by fear of lack and scarcity, but to really continue to feel that there is enough abundance for which we can only be grateful. It was as if life invited us to continue to meet life in the same fullness, even in such challenging moments.
“Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it.”
In Dutch we know the word ‘ontmoeten’ which can be translated into English as "to meet", "to encounter" or "to see". One of the wonderful definitions of “ontmoeten” is "seeing" which gives us a deep insight into the nature of each encounter. Every encounter requires the ability to see, to fully encounter that which presents itself in your experience, to really "see" something or someone. 'Seeing' is not just looking as we look with our eyes, it is not just seeing and registering something visually, but 'seeing' is being able to fully meet life from the state of presence, to be able to approach it as such. Although the words are not synonymous, they are intimately linked in the essence of what both mean. Every encounter requires at its core that you can see and thus meet the person, the situation, the sensation or the experience, in full presence. Conversely, it means that everything you 'see' is also an 'encounter', it is something that presents itself in your experience and that you can 'meet' by being able to 'observe' (see). This beautiful dance of meanings carries a deep understanding of how we can approach life in a state of conscious awareness.
Everything in life wishes to be seen, wishes to be met. It's when we meet it, when we can see it deeply that we can bring it home in our experience, we don't have to think about it, we don't have to change it, we don't have to do anything with it but seeing it deeply. When life only requires us to see it and thus meet it, the ultimate question becomes can you love it? Can you try to love every moment, every experience, every encounter, every thought, but also every judgment, every worry or every feeling of stress? Can you "see" it in the light of love or in other words can you see with the eyes of love? This is the deepest invitation that life always sends out to everyone, can you love it? So, when we approach every encounter this way then the question becomes: Can you love the rain when you're soaking wet cycling through it? Can you love the budding flower even though it has not yet fully blossomed? Can you love your own worries out of self-love and not out of judgment? Can you love the person with whom you are confronted out of compassion, from the understanding that he or she also longs for a happy life?
“The most important aspect of love is not in giving or the receiving: it’s in the being. When I need love from others, or need to give love to others, I’m caught in an unstable situation. Being in love, rather than giving or taking love, is the only thing that provides stability. Being in love means seeing the Beloved all around me.”
When we are able to deeply meet everything or everybody and thus really see them with the eyes of love, then nothing else rests with us. This is really the only thing, to love everything and everyone. To be able to meet everything in its fullness, every being, every moment, every emotion, every sensation, every idea, every dream. That is actually the greatest invitation that life sends to each of us and that's such a huge reassurance, we don't have to be successful, we don't just have to spend our life working, we don't have to get rich, we don't have to achieve a certain status, we don't have to meet anything but life in all it’s fullness. The conscious and present encounter with life itself, this is the only invitation that life gives us. And the good news is that it is up to us to accept this invitation, because when we do, then we are really “here”, because then there is only life itself.
As simple as the invitation may seem, this turns out to be quite the practice. It is a lifelong study into the heart of love and I believe we all have the opportunity to study the mastery of love in our lives. What an honour, isn't it? To be allowed to be a student of love in this life, to be able to meet life anew every day, to be able to feel the invitation again and to be able to behold life in our own intimate experience. I can imagine that as you read this you may feel resistance as we all have major challenges in our lives that seem to keep us from loving 'something' or 'someone', but that doesn't detract from the invitation. That which is challenging is essentially an invitation to go deeper, to be allowed to learn and to meet it again, and again, and again. Yes, this is difficult and the practice perpetual, but this is the opportunity that comes from being allowed to live as human beings. We will all spend our lives learning what it means to live with this question, but luckily every day, every second, there is a new moment that invites us to meet it again, to see it with eyes of love.
“Beauty is simply reality seen with the eyes of love”
I want to ask you, as you read this, to try to love something new today. Try to 'see' with eyes of love, what does life look like then? Try to discover "something" of beauty in the simplest sound, the smallest encounter on the street, that one email you have yet to send or the single thought that keeps revisiting you. Don't try to change it but observe it, 'meet' it in your experience and see if you can manage to love it? If not, don't worry there are still many encounters that will come and invite you to love.
Dear and beautiful being, thank you for reading. I write this from my own practice as a student in the mastery of love, also (and luckily) for me the invitation is always open but fortunately I am in good company, where there are enough beautiful beings to share this with and plenty to love.
In love and reverence, sven
